Cloetus the Slack-Jawed President

That’s right folks, our village idiot of a president thinks that “Intelligent Design” should be taught alongside evolution in our country’s public schools. For those of you who don’t know, “Intelligent Design” is the bullshit scientific-sounding term that Christians have given creationism in an effort to sneak religion into public schools. Sweet bleeding shitballs people, are we really going to stand for this?

Their argument is that life as we know is too complex to have evolved randomly. There must be some sort of creator involved. That’s it. That’s their entire argument. Anything that is too complicated for them to understand must be God working in his mysterious ways. What sort of primitive bullshit superstition is this? No study, not one shred of scientific evidence, just their belief in god as creator of the universe.

faith (fāth) n. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

And let’s be honest here people. That’s all we’re talking about here: faith. There is absolutely no scientific evidence to support “Intelligent Design”. Of course, evolution has a little something called the fossil record going for it. And you know, that whole carbon dating thing. But proponents of ID have 2000 years of belief in a book written by men. Give me a fucking break. Admittedly, the fossil record is not perfect. There are occasional gaps. But that’s the problem with fundamentalists; they believe that every single word of the bible is true. As such, they see the world as black or white, good or evil, with no wiggle room in between. They don’t understand that a scientific theory is very different from a best guess. The accepted theory of evolution is based on well over a hundred years of intensive scientific study. The joke of a sham of a “theory” of Intelligent Design is based on wanting to believe in god. IT HAS NO PLACE BEING TAUGHT AS A SCIENCE IN OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

ID supporters will tell you that they’re not trying to push a religious agenda. Yeah, and I’m not masturbating, I’m massaging a cramp in my penis. Saying that molecular systems are too complex to have happened by chance, and inferring from that belief that they must have been designed or created by some higher intelligence with a specific purpose… how is that not god? How is that not a back door to forcing your personal religious beliefs upon school children? How fucking dumb do you think we are?

ID is a pseudoscience because it claims to be scientific but is in fact metaphysical. It is based on several philosophical confusions, not the least of which is the notion that the empirical is necessarily scientific. This is false, if by 'empirical' one means originating in or based on observation or experience. Empirical theories can be scientific or non-scientific. Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex is empirical but it is not scientific. Jung's theory of the collective unconscious is empirical but it is not scientific. Biblical creationism is empirical but it is not scientific. Poetry can be empirical but not scientific.

On the other hand, if by 'empirical' one means capable of being verified or disproved by observation or experiment then ID is not empirical. Neither the whole of Nature nor an individual eco-system can be proved or disproved by any set of observations to be intelligently or unintelligently designed. A design theory and a natural law theory that makes no reference to design can account for Nature as a whole and for individual eco-systems.

Robert Todd Carroll

I’m not sure which is scarier: the fact that the leader of arguably the most powerful country in the world doesn’t believe in evolution, or that he’s willing to push this religious agenda on our country. I have to say though, the people who tell Georgie boy what to say are in fact fucking brilliant. The White House is under a ton of scrutiny right now, BUllSHit’s approval ratings are down, and the media is finally starting to talk about what a mess Iraq truly is. So much as he did during his first term when things got sticky, Bush attempts to cloud the waters of political discourse with religious zealotry that by its very definition should have nothing to do with matters of the state. Remember his proposed gay marriage constitutional amendment? This is the same damn thing. Throw the religious right wingnutters a bone, bring up an emotional issue to confuse the masses, then continue to do whatever the fuck he wants while the voters are busy arguing about the origin of the species. And his fervent supporters don’t even care that he’s simply using them as political chess pieces. He’s using them in a way they want to be used.

It’s the old divide and conquer routine, but the right loves him for it. You see, as far as they’re concerned, it doesn’t matter if the country is falling apart, it doesn’t matter if our safety is actually more at risk now than before we illegally invaded Iraq. They think he’s doing the Lord’s work, and that’s all they care about. Am I the only one who is becoming increasingly ashamed to be called American?