Groundhog Day

This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall on
the same day.


As Air America Radio pointed out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition: One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog."

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin', Keep Them Geniuses Rollin'

So the other night I was lying in bed thinking of Stephen Hawking. Not like that ya perv. I haven't suddenly developed a homosexual wheelchair fetish. I was watching one of the Futurama DVD box sets for the umpteenth time, and there's an episode where Professor Hawking is a member of Al Gore's "Vice Presidential Action Rangers", who's job it is to protect the space-time continuum (and cast they tie breaking vote in the Senate). Anyway, I was impressed yet again with the fact that Hawking would appear on Futurama (he also guest starred in an episode of The Simpsons, could he be any cooler?), especially in such a self-effacing role.

I know I generally only post here when I'm pissed about something or someone, but thought it might be nice for once to write something positive. Here you have a man who is considered to be one of the smartest people... you know... ever... yet takes the time to appear in tongue-in-cheek roles on animated t.v. shows. This is a man who wrote a book to explain things like time and the nature of the freaking universe to us lowly monkeys, who spends his time on the daunting task of trying to unravel the nature of existence, yet even with such heady pursuits and having a terrible disability, he still has an incredbile sense of humor. Not only about the world, but about himself in particular. In this day and age, heroes are pretty damn few and far between, but I can say in all honesty that Stephen Hawking deserves that title more than most. Get down with your badass wheelchair ridden self, Professor. And thank you.

...

Why is it that billions of Iraq rebuilding funds have disappeared without a trace? Billions worth of no-bid contracts were given to Haliburton, yet they have no records of how they spent it and where the money went. While the Justice Department is working on a criminal fraud suit against Haliburton, what has the Pentagon decided to do?

Give Haliburton more money, of course.

Some Humor for the New Year

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?" "Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away.
The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?" "Respect the Constitution, as I did " Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.
The third night sleep is still not in the cards for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing! I can do to help the country?" "Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist.
Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?" Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."